A Birthday Letter

Dear Nan and Papa, So I know that you are in heaven right now, and you'll never be able to read this letter, but hopefully it will make me feel better writing everything that I'm feeling, down. So here it goes... So as you know, today was Mom and my birthday. She turned the big 5-0 and I 31. We had a little get together for mom last night, at her new house, and it turned out fabulous! It really was great. Everyone had such a good time. I think she felt really blessed. You guys would be so proud of mom if you were here. She had made it her mission, for her birthday, to bless a family in need. Troy's friend's dad passed away unexpectedly 9 days ago, leaving behind a wife and 3 sons ranging in age from 2 to 12. So mom's made it her mission for her birthday celebration to do any and everything that she can to help this family out. She has such a big heart, and is such a great person. Even though we may have our differences, I really am proud that I get to call her mom. And I know that you were both proud to call her daughter......................................................... So, for her birthday, mom wanted Robbie, Troy and I to sing her a song. In front of everybody. Did I mention that we are not singers? There was a time, long ago, that I really could sing well, but I don't know what happened. It's like, I grew up and my voice just stopped working. I miss it. Oh don't get me wrong, that hasn't stopped me from singing in the shower. And in the car. And with the boys while we are cleaning the house. They don't care that I can't sing well. They just love singing with me. Anyways, so we (Robbie, Troy, the boys and I) got up in front of everybody and sang "Put A Little Love In You're Heart" by Mary Mary, from the movie Stuart Little 2, one of mom's favorite movies. I think that you guys would have been so proud of us. Proud of the fact that, even though we were horrible, (and none of us really wanted to do it), we sucked it up and sang our little hearts out, for mom, just like she wanted. Everybody loved it. Not the fact that we sounded like dying cats, lol, but the fact that we cared enough to do it for her. I was sooo nervous. I was shaking so bad, and I almost couldn't remember my lyrics, and my hands were shaking so bad I couldn't read my paper. LOL. We were a hot mess :o) And you should have been there for the "Barn Tour". I think you guys would have loved it. I don't think anybody that heard the story and saw the mural left without shedding a tear. It was just beautiful............................................. But now I'm sitting here today, on our actual birthday, and the house is quiet, the boys are sleeping and Bouchet is in bed. And I should be happy because I had an amazing birthday today. I have so much to be thankful for. We had such a good time wine tasting, and going out to eat. But all I can think about is the both of you. It's just not the same without you here. And I am overwhelmed by how much I miss you. My heart is aching, and I can't stop crying and I feel like there is this huge hole in my heart, that will never be filled. Like part of it is going to be broken forever, like I'm not ever gonna be whole again. I can't even put into words how bad it hurts right now... I never realized how much I would miss the cards I got in the mail from you, Papa, every birthday, anniversary and Christmas. The holidays are so empty without you. And I never realized how much I would miss spending the night with the boys at your house, like we used to do, Nan, before you got sick. We used to have so much fun. It just breaks my heart to know that the boys will have to grow up with out you guys. They miss you so much! I know they didn't have a lot of time with you, but my biggest fear is that they will forget the time that they did have with you. Because that time was so special... I couldn't have asked for better grandparents. I didn't matter that our family wasn't always picture perfect. All that mattered was that we loved each other. There is SO much I would give up, just to spend one more day with both of you. But I know that it's impossible. And I know that in time, it will hurt less and less. But I don't know if, or how even, I can ever go through another birthday without crying for you, because you both meant everything to me. Words will never be able to express what a profound impact the both of you had on my life... Well, I guess it is time to dry my tears. There are only 12 minutes left until my birthday is no more. And I know neither of you would want me to be sad on my birthday. You would want me to be as happy as one could possibly be. Just know that I love you both, and I think of you often, and that remembering the good times usually outweighs the sadness of losing you... I don't really know how to end this letter. I don't want to, nor can I say goodbye. So I guess I'll just say: Until I see you again. I love you both to infinity and beyond. -Tiffany-

Definitely Bigger Than A Spider

Our dirty laundry had started to take over our house and garage, so when I woke up this morning, I decided that I couldn't put it off any longer and started moving it all into the garage. Now, I have learned from previous experience, that you always check the washing machine before you start throwing clothes into it. (I once found a mouse in a pile of laundry that I had just pulled out of the washer and had to rewash the entire load). I glanced into the drum and saw what seemed to be a wash cloth at the bottom of the drum. No biggie. I reached inside the drum to pull the wash cloth out when all of a sudden, I realized it wasn't a wash cloth. OH SHIT! I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Babe, you have got to come check this out" I said. "Is it a spider, because I don't wanna see another spider" he replied. "No, I replied, it is definitely bigger than a spider". The boys came outside and peaked into the washer, than hubby came out and peaked into the washer. What The F... ! Was his surprised reply. Inside our washer, was this:

A BABY DOVE!!!! I asked the boys to bring me 2 plastic bags (it may be cute but who knows what kind of diseases it may be carrying ) and a shoe box. After some discussion, we decided to put it in the box and let it go out front. If for whatever reason it couldn't fly away, we would take it to the SPCA. I grabbed the baby bird, and carefully placed it in the box. Hubby put the lid on it and took it out front. We carefully lifted the lid, and...

It just sat there... I snapped another pic with my DSLR and lifted my phone up to take a picture with that too. I must have scared the baby bird when I lifted my hand because all of a sudden, it flapped it's wings and flew away. And just when it got over the neighbor's fence, another dove flew down from the tree to guide her baby to safety. One more picture of our bird:

Isn't she cute?